Why do we care so much about what others think? Why would we rather be thought well of than find the forgiveness and cleansing that comes with confession? Because we’d rather look good than feel good. We’d rather save face than find the joy and healing and wholeness that come with being transparent.Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in Life Together:
He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final break-through to fellowship does not occur, because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. [1]
My paraphrase: We embrace fellowship as saints, but reject fellowship as sinners.
I’ve been reading through The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. This is what caught my attention and then pushed me back to Bonhoeffer: The person who cares nothing about the approval or disapproval of people enjoys great peace of mind. [2]
But we do fear that disapproval; we fear being rejected by fellow church members. After all, what might they say?
Thomas again: You are not more holy when you are being praised, or more worthless when you are disparaged. [3]
Why does it matter more to us what others think than what God thinks?
[1] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1954), 110.
[2] Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, ed. Harold J. Chadwick (New Brunswick, NJ: Bridge Logos, 1999), 84.
[3] Ibid.
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