My son Will (almost 12) asked me Tuesday why God doesn't answer every prayer. I know the cliche answer that says he does, and that his answer is always, "Yes," "No," or "Wait." Those answers really mean a lot to someone who is suffering (it would be appropriate to roll your eyes here). I also think that sometimes we ask him to do something in our lives, and he answers, "You do it." But that's another post altogether.Will has been suffering with pain for the last three months. He was born prematurely, weighing in at 3 lbs., 14 oz., and I know babies thrive who are born smaller than that, but this is my son; understand? Oftentimes premature boys are born with inguinal hernias. Will had surgery at the age of 6 weeks for his first bilateral hernia repair. When he was 4 we had to have the surgery repeated. Naming his hernia Ernie the Hernia only put off the inevitable for a little while. While in the hospital, Will had lots of visitors and lots of attention; the nurses brought him a popsicle any time he asked; and he got plenty of gifts, too. He asked if he could come back to the hospital on his birthday because it was better than Chuck E. Cheese!
When Will started complaining of groin pain this spring, we all naturally assumed his hernias were back. This was mistakenly confirmed by an ER doc (of course, Will would experience his worst pain the day our family doctor was closed). We found a surgeon at Children's Hospital, who could not feel a hernia, but sent Will for a CAT-scan. No obvious hernia; no cats. Next was an ultrasound, which also showed nothing, while all the time, the pain persisted. Next, Janelle and I made the painful decision to okay an exploratory laparotomy. Again, the doctor didn't find anything definitive, but removed Will's appendix (after all, if you're already in there, you might as well cut something out). He said the appendix was unusual, but didn't appear inflamed. Then we had to wait for the surgery pain to go away to see if there was any relief from the original pain. We're at the place now where we can say with assurance, he's still got that original pain.
That's what prompted Will's question about prayer. Will has been prayed for, and annointed according to James 5:13-16. When Will asked why God wasn't answering prayer in his behalf, I was so desperate to not fall back on another cliche answer, that I think my answer, when it finally came, was something like, "I don't know." I did share with Will that I don't believe God is causing his pain for some cosmic purpose. I know God's ways are higher than my ways, his understanding higher than my understanding, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know it's unethical to force suffering upon a child just to see how he's going to respond. God's no Dr. Mengele, experimenting with how much pain it takes to make a person a better human being.
But I also told Will that he has a decision to make about how he's going to respond to this time of suffering. Pain can either make us bitter or it can make us better (okay; I know that's a cliche)--I don't know who originally said it, but it was a favorite expression of one of my first Senior Pastors. I told Will that he would choose his own course, but that I hoped he would choose, "No matter what happens, I'm sticking with Jesus." Read Job 13:15.
Psalm 119:71-72 reads: It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold. (NIV) Peterson paraphrases it like this: My troubles turned out all for the best--they forced me to learn from your textbook. Truth from your mouth means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine. (The Message)
Some Christians read Romans 8:28 and get the idea that everything that happens to a Christian is supposed to be good, but that's not what it says. It says that God is working for the good of his people no matter what happens. Every once in awhile we hear about a teenager getting killed or injured because he/she was driving drunk. Someone is bound to say, "God must have had a purpose for all this." What?! God didn't do this! The kid made a bad decision and there were tragic consequences!
What I do believe is that God's plan as outlined in Jeremiah 29:11 was intended especially for the hardest, most tragic things of life. This was God's promise to Judah through the prophet Jeremiah, on the eve of Babylonian exile, a time that would change not only the theology, but the very fiber of the Jewish people. God wants to take what we're going through and work for our good; God wants to offer us hope that our future holds not harm, but good. Whether God can do that or not is determined by our decision of whether to remain faithful, or turn and walk away.
If, like the Psalmist, we allow our troubles to direct us to God's textbook. Then we're on the path to good things. Will is going to have to make his own choice, as do we all.
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