Daylight Savings Time

Don't forget to reset your clocks tonight. Set your alarm for 2 a.m., get up and change the time to 3 a.m.. Remember to do this precisely at 2 a.m. - that's when the change takes affect.

Or if you've got a rebellious streak, go ahead and change it now!

Of course if you'd done what I do, it wouldn't even be an issue. It's been just over 120 days since we changed out clocks the last time. I hate losing that hour of sleep in the spring, so ever since last fall I've been setting my clock ahead 30 seconds every day. That way, I don't even notice the change, and I feel completely rested. Of course it does make it a little difficult to stay in sync with the rest of the world. Their clocks are off anywhere from 30 secs to 59 and a half minutes from me, but I think it's worth it.

Tune in next time when I explain flying from one time zone to another, and how to avoid jet lag!

You Can't Make this Stuff Up

Yesterday, we talked about some of the metaphors for the church's relationship to the kingdom. Paul wrote that we are letters... written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God (2 Corinthians 3:3). Our lives are letters and people are reading them. We could say the church is a window through which people look to see what the kingdom is like. The church is a witness testifying to the realities of the kingdom, a lens bringing into focus the truths of the kingdom, or a headline that makes others want to read the whole story of the kingdom.

As I was researching the headline idea, I Googled headline and came across this story. It was too good not to use, but at the same time I wasn't about to spend too much time there. So here's the scoop. If this story is true, apparently a young man was pulled over by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for erratic driving. Fearful of the probable results from a breathalyzer, he proceeded to eat his underpants in the hope the cotton fabric would absorb enough alcohol to lower his score.

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Did it work?, you ask.

Here's the kicker. Charges were dismissed because his blood alcohol level registered at .08, the legal limit. That means one of two things: 1) He wasn't legally drunk, so he ate his underpants for nothing, or... 2) IT WORKED!!!

Mind you, I found a Google image that fit my needs. I make no claims for the veracity of the story, except Who would make up something like this?

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But you know, someone eating his own underpants really wasn't the point of the story. People who are disconnected from God are looking at us to see if being connected to God makes any difference in who we are, or in how we live, and they're making a judgment about whether or not they should get connected, too.

Question: When people read the headline that is your life, are they excited to read the rest of the story?

Organic Vegetables

Two men were talking one day.

My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the Farmer's Market, said the first man.

Were you able to find any? asked the second man.

Well, when I got to the market, I said to the farmer standing beside this truck, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' and the guy answers, 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.'

This is dedicated to my lovely wife whose birthday is tomorrow, August 14th. After nearly 29 years of marriage I can honestly say I have never felt the need to spray her vegetables with poisonous chemicals.

Mid-Week Snicker

A turtle is mugged by two snails. When asked by the police to describe his assailants, he replies: I don't know; it all happened so fast.

Chuck Made Me Laugh

Here's a little something from my friend Chuck Shyblosky. I'm actually trying to find out if he still goes by Chuck, or if he now prefers Charles. Chuck/Charles was a young man in a suburban Nashville church I served as Worship Pastor in the early 90s. It was quite apparent then that he had a lot on the ball and that he was serious about his faith. Is that awesome, or what?

Check out this bit of hi-tech information/education from his blog: Media Ministry Matters.

Could This Be the New Masked Evangel?

Nahh!

We have a new entrant in the Masked Avenger category. (Okay, the movie is now two years old, but my family has about worn out the DVD... and my kids never rewind!)

Listen to the plot from IMDb - Berated all his life by those around him, a monk follows his dream and dons a mask to moonlight as a luchador (Mexican wrestler).

What started with the Scarlet Pimpernel, and evolved to Zorro and Batman has now come full circle to Ignacio of Nacho Libre fame. Life is funny, isn’t it?

Who’s your favorite masked avenger?

Mid-Week Snicker

The General in charge of the army was pleased to get a visit from his friend, the Admiral in charge of the Navy. How are your men, Admiral?

My men are tough as nails - lean mean fighting machines. How about yours?

The General replied, My men are the bravest fighting men on the planet. I'd put them up against your men any day of the week!

Show me, said the Admiral, unimpressed.

The General called out to a soldier on the training field, Private Cooper, report!

Private Cooper ran across the grounds and snapped to attention: Private Cooper reporting as ordered, Sir!

Cooper, do you see that tank approaching? I want you to get out there and stop that tank with your bare hands.

What?! Are you crazy? I'd be killed! And with an, I'm out of here! Private Cooper ran off the field screaming.

The General turned to the Admiral. See what I mean? You have to be pretty brave to talk to a general like that.

A Cold Winter's Night

It's supposed to be cold tonight - 7°. Here in Pennsylvania we take such things in stride (even though I know my wife's car won't start when it's that cold), but all across the south land churches are cancelling (to be fair, not all of them are shutting their doors), because they might get 1-3 inches of snow. I'm just teasing; I know we've cancelled at times due to weather.


Several years ago, while I was pastoring in Georgia, a large asteroid came perilously close to the earth (within a million and a half miles). My first clue that something was amiss was when the Piggly Wiggly shelves were stripped of milk and toilet paper!

Judy Deans in Concert

Tomorrow is going to be a blast at Connellsville Church of God. Judy Deans will be sharing in concert at 10:45. Judy has a beautiful singing voice and a beautiful spirit to go with it. We are very fortunate to welcome her.

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Come prepared to give generously for the love offering we will receive to support Judy's ministry.

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That brings up a story.

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Many years ago when Janelle and I were traveling and sharing concerts across the country, we did a Sunday morning service in a little Virginia country church. Our financial arrangements were a love offering plus $50 to defray our expenses--call it gas money. Before church the pastor handed me an envelope with $50 in it. I presumed the love offering would be received later in the service. There was an opening song, and then the church's regular tithes and offerings were collected. Then, a little later, as it was the first Sunday in November, a "meat offering" (a love offering to help cover the cost of the turkey for the church's upcoming Thanksgiving Dinner) was received. Soon it was time for us to sing. When we finished, the pastor dismissed the service... no love offering.

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Keep in mind. We were traveling, and a long way from home. We did have another concert, but mind you ONLY one, on this leg of our journey. I spoke with the person who set up the date to make sure he understood the arrangements included a love offering, and he assured me he had explained it in detail to the pastor.

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Come Tuesday morning I felt it would be appropriate to call the host pastor to see what exactly was going on. When he answered the phone I explained my dilemma, and asked if he understood the arrangements. His response (use your best Virginia drawl): Well, Brother Tim, we had to take up an offering to help pay for our Thanksgiving turkey; I didn't think it was fair to my people to take up two love offerings and, frankly, I THOUGHT THE TURKEY WAS MORE IMPORTANT.

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Now, picture the phone still in my hand, and my chin on the floor. What could I say? All righty then; God bless and have a good day. But to this day, when walking through the grocery store, I always feel a little resentment toward those Butterball turkeys in the freezer aisle. :)